12 October 2009

San Antonio de Tachiro, Venezuela to Brasilia, Brazil

[Amazon River Delta, Brazil]

21-22 September (San Antonio de Tachira, Venezuela à Caracas, Venezuela)

[El Hatillo, Caracas, Venezuela]

I closed the last post with my not-quite-legal entry into red Chavez territory after a hair pulling experience at the border.  This inevitably led to my time on Venezuelan roads to be spent devising fresh tactics with which to avoid having to show my non-existent motorcycle importation documentation at the numerous police and military checkpoints.  In the end this proved to be relatively simple once I noticed that the laziness of these underpaid government officials inhibited them from attempting to block the small shoulder at all of these checkpoints.  This space was large enough for my bike to pass through undetected in the shadow of whatever vehicle happened to be stopped there.  By the time the officials had noticed that I had passed them by, it would be too late for them to signal for me to pull over.  There again I relied on these loyal Chavistas’ unflagging laziness to keep them from chasing after me.  Some of you who have been carefully reading my avoidance tactic would have picked up on the fact that it contains a significant weakness.  That is, it requires that another vehicle already be stopped at the checkpoint in order to work.  This fortunately never proved to be an issue until the very last checkpoint located in the remotely situated Canaima National Park before crossing into Brazil, but I’ll tell that part a bit later.

But briefly back to Venezuela itself.  The first thing any foreigner driving a vehicle usually notices—unless you’re from UAE or Saudi Arabia—is how cheap gas is here.  Filling up my 4 gallon tank (13 liters) cost me a whopping 1.25 Bolivars (that's about $0.25 USD or 0.15 GBP).  However, the quality of the gas is so poor that my gas mileage dropped from 220 miles to 160 miles on a full tank.  I was told by a local that Venezuelan gas contains half as many gas molecules per unit with fuel found in the rest of the world.  Moreover, the gas was so dirty that my injectors clogged up after only 400 miles and required me to use fuel injector cleaner from there onwards with every tank fill in Venezuela.  Staying on the topic of gas, many know that Venezuela is the seventh largest holder of the world’s oil reserves.  One would think that fuel shortages would never be an issue in this country, right?  Wrong.  It happens every day, or at least every day I was in the country.  I always knew when I was approaching a gas station because I would begin to see a row of cars and trucks parked by the side of the road.  All of which were in line patiently waiting for the gas station to receive the next fuel shipment.  It’s clear that Chavez has been spending a little too much time talking to Fidel inasmuch as Cuba’s problems are starting to emerge in Venezuela. 

[Trip planning note.  Anyone traveling to Venezuala should avoid taking out money from ATMs with a foreign credit/debit card at all costs.  Chavez has artificially set the official exchange rate at 2:1 (Bolivars:USD) while the real exchange rate on the black market is at 5:1 (Bolivars:USD).  Any purchases made with a foreign debit or credit card will be charged according to the 2:1 rate.  The solution is to take in enough cash, preferably USD or Euro but Colombian Pesos and Brazilian Reales are usually accepted, and then exchange with a reputable street vendor (befriend a local for this information).]

But all this negative talk of petroleum and Chavez shouldn’t give you the impression that I had anything but a fabulous time in Venezuela. In fact, Venezuela is one of the few countries on this trip that I feel require a second and even third visit in order to more fully appreciate this amazing land of magnificent landscapes and dramatic terrain which reminds one of scenes from Jurassic Park.

I had my first real close call on the drive from the border to Caracas.  I came around a sharp corner and found myself staring at two semis heading straight at me with nowhere to go other than off the road.  The problem was that there was a nice cliff on my right and a solid rock wall on my left.  I opted for the cliff side, slammed on the brakes and cross my fingers. The truck passed about an inch from my face and then the accompanying gust of wind nearly blew me completely off the side of mountain—the rear wheel was literally starting to slide down the side.  I briefly contemplated turning back and chasing down the trucker but knew it would do no good.  About 36 hours after entering Venezuela I was finally in the capital.  

In Caracas I stayed with a couple whom I had met at a London Business School event in London.  In Caracas I stayed with the Bethencourt family who opened their beautiful home to me and went to great lengths to make my short stay with them as enjoyable as possible.  My arrival also happened to coincide with a dinner party Carlos and Anna Maria were hosting for 25 prominent regional business leaders to include the head partner at McKinsey’s regional office and the President of Citibank in Venezuela just to name a few.  With such erudition at the table, I was assured a dynamic discussion on Hugo Chavez’s latest attempts to oust any remnants of capitalism and stamp out any remaining entrepreneurial spirit in Venezuela.  The mood for the future was understandably glum that evening yet their love for all that is Venezuela shone through. 

24 September (Caracas, Venezuela à Cuidad Guyana, Venezuela)

[Getting new tires put on before entering Canaima National Park]

After Caracas, I made my way to Canaima National Park for which Venezuela is probably best known—aside from producing a plethora of beauty queens.  The drive from Caracas to Canaima was too long to do in a single day so I had a quick stopover in Cuidad Guyana before continuing on.  This is a good point to continue with the gasoline theme I had started this post with.  I mentioned how most gas stations either had huge waiting lines or were closed.  The lines at the pump were mainly an effect of military soldiers physically regulating how much fuel a vehicle could take on in the case the gas station was close to running dry.  After two attempts of trying to fill up by employing monetary persuasive tactics, I decided to use a different approach acquired through the quiet observation of the locals.  I realized that there were black market sources of gasoline that the locals would turn to when normal sources ran dry.  So from there onwards, whenever I needed to fill up, I would first ask any of the locals in the village who sold gas nearby and would then be directed to the gas delivery point through sophisticated navigational guidance such as, “…then at the third banyan tree turn left, when you get to the house with 3 rusted cars on the front lawn, pull in there and ask the woman with a long weave to call for Juan…”  Below are two clips showing you the actual procedure which I found myself repeating throughout much of Venezuela:

[Filling up in Venezuela -- Part I]

[Filling up in Venezuela -- Part II]
  
25 September (Cuidad Guyana, Venezuela à Paraitepuy, Venezuela)


About two hours after leaving Cuidad Guyana, I entered what was to be the most scenic part of the trip to date, Canaima National Park.  The park is characterized by tabletop mountains (call tepuis) of all shapes and sizes.  There are literally dozens of notable waterfalls with the mother of them all being Angel Falls.  It’s a five day journey to Angel Falls from where I was in the park and I was unfortunately several days behind schedule so I had to skip the falls till the next time when I’ll be able to combine a BASE jump into it all.  Instead I placated myself with a wandering around Mount Roraima.  However, to get there required a long two-hour technically-challenging drive to a small Indian village called Paraitepuy.  Appearently a hard rain the week before had cut hundreds of meter-deep ruts throughout the length of the 40km road leading to the village. Upon arrival, I was rewarded by meeting two local indians who were headed out on the preparatory phase of a hunt for an upcoming celebration.  I honestly had no idea what they were asking me to do but figured they looked harmless enough so I tagged along anyway.  The two indians I was with were responsible for settings a series of strategically placed fires which would then drive whatever furry animals happened to be living in the middle, toward a group of hunters with rifles waiting for them at the other end of the fire funnel.  I helped them start fires with some homemade torches for several hours (unfortunately the video was to dark to be of any good).  Afterwards I joined them for a meal of meat-stuffed arepas and fried plantains around a fire outside their hut.



[Scenes from Canaima National Park, Venezuela]

26 September (Paraitepuy, Venezuela à Boa Vista, Brazil)


[Mount Roraima, Canaima National Park, Venezuela]

I spent the next day exploring the area around Mount Roraima and some waterfalls nearby.  With enough daylight still remaining, I made my way to the border for the short hop into Brazil before popping north into Guyana.  There are no roads connecting Venezuela and Guyana so my only choice was to enter Guyana from the south, but before my time in Venezuela was completely over, I had enough time to bump into one more military checkpoint.  Unfortunately this one was completely desolate of any vehicles to shadow behind and so  I drove up on to this checkpoint completely unexpected with no time to turn around without drawing undue attention onto myself.  Here I had to so some fast talking.  After trying to bore the soldier to death with a stack of paperwork from all the other countries I had transited, I was able to convince the young impressionable corporal that the regulation had changed and that now all that was required was the stamp in my passport.  To my great relief, he bought the story and let me pass with an elaborate handshake to boot.  After that it was just another two hours to the border and I was in Brazil.  A few hours later I was in Boa Vista just in time for the sun to set.  I was amazed at the difference in the people’s energy and attitude just across the border.  The Brazilians instantly gave me the impression that they were generally happier with life than any other people I have ever come across, ever.  I even came across a female gas station attendant seductively dancing around the pump as I approached.  It’s no wonder that in their run for the 2016 Olympics, they chose to use “passion” as the common thread underpinning their bid.

27 September (Boa Vista, Brazil à Annai, Guyana)

[Seen shortly after entering Guyana.  LBS students should note the advert and think back on marketing]

I left Boa Vista at daybreak in the hope of making it to the northern coast of Guyana by nightfall.  It was a short-lived dream which was once again crushed by the realities of the incredible inefficiencies found at these customs offices.  Leaving Brazil could have been a relatively straightforward process had I not nearly gotten into an all out fight with the head customs officer.  Allow me to explain.  The approach to the border was somewhat confusing and I thought I had stopped at the post office instead of the customs house.  I went to turn around when some guy in civilian clothes impeded my passage and began yelling at me in Portuguese.  I told him I was trying to find the customs office to which he responded by trying to kick my motorcycle over with me on it for no apparent reason—I later figured out that he was half drunk.  I quickly got off the bike and placed him on the ground.  The other customs officers then came over and held us apart after he got up.  It was a few minutes later that I realized that the drunk in civilian clothes I had just thrown to the ground was in fact the head officer in charge of the entire operation.  I nearly started laughing.  My first thought was that I wished I had gotten something to eat beforehand because this was going to take a while to sort out.  After having to tear my bike down to the chassis and put back together again for the most thorough inspection I had undergone, I finally received my exit stamp and could proceed across the bridge to Guyana.  I never did see the unruly official again.  When I got to the other side I was pleased to find that I was the only one there trying to enter Guyana and mistakenly thought that the entry process would be a relatively straightforward process.  The first delay I had was in getting insurance.  I needed Guyanese insurance before they would give me the permit so I drove into village and found the only guy in town who sold it.  In fact, he turned out to be the only guy that sold anything in town.  When I did find Albert, he was on his way to his farm and wouldn’t be back for several hours.  So I sat around his hotel lobby till he returned.  Once I got my insurance papers I went back to office where I hoped my permit would be nearly ready for pick up.  Wrong.  The customs guy had taken a long lunch and still hadn’t even started on my paperwork. I sat there for another three hours and watched him eke out a single piece of paper with maybe ten pieces of actual information that needed to be transcribed.  I had arrived at the border at 8 a.m. and was free to go on the other side at 4 p.m..  It’s too bad that it so difficult to convince governments to privatize these processes.  Anyhow, with the few hours of daylight remaining, I made it as far as Annai, Guyana.  The entire road from Lethem to Georgetown, Guyana is considered by many adventure motorcyclists to be one of the worst in the world.  It’s pure dirt, mud, and sand with potholes large enough to house small families. Rivers and streams are bridged using rotting planks of wood which are rarely nailed down.  I expected everytime I had to cross over one of these makeshift bridges to have one of these planks collapse under my weight and end up in the water below.  I do have to say however that the ride from Lethem to Annai, Guyana made the entire trip worth it.  

[On the road to Annai, Guyana]

The Rapunni Savannah in Southern Guyana is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen.  It ranks up there with Mount Rinjani, Indonesia and the The Grand Canyon, U.S..  

[Rapunni Savannah, Guyana]

By the time I got to Annai I was covered in a thin film of red dust and happily exhausted.  I found a covered place where I could set up my hammock for the night, washed up in a river nearby and headed to the only restaurant for dinner and entertainment.  As soon as I got there I made friends with the Brazilian owner of the place who had immigrated to Guyana five years earlier.  After getting to know each other as best we could considering the language barrier, he introduced me to the local alcoholic beverage of choice: a home-brewed potent substance made from casaba and yucca.

[Video of me having a taste of whatever was in that can]

If you didn’t catch it the first time, play the video again and pay close attention to the gentleman’s mouth when he smiles.  He only had one tooth in his upper jaw.  When I asked him if the stuff was safe to drink, he assuaged my trepidation by telling me that he had been drinking it his whole life and he was perfectly fine, followed by a big toothless smile of course. I assume you all will now understand my hesitation to imbibe as freely as my host—he and his toothless companion finished the bucket an hour later.  As of this post I thankfully still have all my teeth.  After the alcohol hit him, he introduced me to his twelve year old daughter whom he suggestively mentioned was approaching a marrying age.  I politely complimented her looks and asked if she had started drinking from the bucket yet.  Just kidding.  I told him that I was already married with children back home to keep the situation from getting uncomfortable. 

[Dogs named Obama and Bush beating up on a cat named Putin at the restaurant in Annai, Guyana]

After several hours of playing Guyanese checkers and watching bad Brazilian rap videos with a brief interlude to feed baby goats, I headed back to my hammock for get some sleep.  For the first time during this trip, I didn't need to attach the rainfly to the hammock as I had found a spot well protected from the rain.  Well, I found out later that night that the rainfly should have been used regardless.  There were several hundred bats living on the overhang above me which I hadn't noticed when I set up camp.  Around midnight they became very active as bats normally do at night.  Shortly before falling completely asleep, I was aroused by a light sprinkling of liquid on my face.  I thought at first that it might have been the wind sweeping in some moisture from the outside but somehow I knew that that couldn't be the case.  The second and third time confirmed my suspicions: bat urine.  And to be honest, I was too tired to be bothered to put the rainfly up so I endured a night of bats urinating all over me unconsciously hoping that scientists had discovered that bat urine was good for preventing cancer or something.  Their bladders ran dry around four in the morning. 

28 September (Annai, Guyana à Georgetown, Guyana)

After a thorough cleansing in the river, I packed up camp and headed out towards Georgetown.   I still had another eight hours of hard riding to do before getting to civilization but was encouraged by yesterday’s breathtaking ride through the savannah.  The dirt road on this section was marginally better and I was able to average about 40-50 mph on the hard-packed dirt.  After a river crossing with a barge, I was in the deep rainforest of Guyana.  I was just about smack dead in the center of Guyana, about four hours away from Georgetown, when the one thing that I feared could ruin the rest of the trip occurred.  I had an accident.  I was going about 50 mph (80 kph) when out of nowhere the road went from hard-packed dirt to loose sand about two feet deep.  For those non-riders, sand has a similar effect on controllability as ice.  Unless you go into deep sand very slow with near flat tires, there is nearly no way to control the bike.  The whole chain of events lasted maybe three seconds.  The back end started fishtailing increasingly violently until one of the panniers—sideboxes made of aluminum—hit the sand hard enough to cause the back end to buck like a bull, in the process ejecting me off the bike while the motorcycle flipped back-to-front landing upside down in the sand.

[Insert helmet cam video of the crash (corrupted video file to be professionally recovered)]

I did a quick self check for injuries while still lying on the ground and then got up to better assess the damage to myself and the bike.  I thought the bike was completely done for.  As for me, aside from some tasty road rash packed full of sand all over my body, I had a deep pain in my collarbone and thought it was either broken or dislocated due to the fact that one end was pushing out of my shoulder, all the while very cognizant of the fact that my body was pumped full of adrenaline which was undoubtedly veiling other injuries.  I started removing the luggage off the bike so I could have half a chance at digging the bike out of the sand when I heard a vehicle approach from behind.  I saw the driver of the pickup truck hit the same pit of sand and nearly spin out of control and slam into the same spot I was at.  I could see three guys in the bed of pickup hanging on for dear life.  A little background on Guyana.  This is the only country during this trip that I was mildly concerned about.  The reports of violence, murders, smuggling and kidnapping activity easily make it the most dangerous country in all of Latin America at this time.  Because the country is so underdeveloped, corrupt, completely lacking in infrastructure, and “blessed” with an abundance of natural resources, there is little to inhibit criminal activity of any sort.  It was with this in mind and my right hand on the butt of a blade that I approached this beat up ‘80s Ford Ranger pickup.  The older gentleman in the driver’s seat could have been Sam Elliot’s body double.

[Chris Stalnaker, gold miner and good friend]

I spotted the U.S. Army’s 9th Cavalry emblem on his 10 gallon hat and blew a sigh of relief when he started speaking with an American accent.  His name was Chris Stalnaker and it turned out that he was an old gold miner from Arizona who had moved to Guyana many years ago in the hopes of striking it rich.  He had his crew from the back of the pickup help me get the bike back on two wheels and to my complete surprise it started without a sputter a few minutes later.  A toast to reliable German engineering!  A quick inspection of the bike revealed the following damage:

  1. Busted windshield
  2. Both side view mirrors broken off with the female threads stripped out
  3. Bent brake lever
  4. Headlamp assembly badly bent to the left
  5. Left turn signal destroyed
  6. Rear frame assembly bent to the left including several large chassis bolt heads busted off

[Bike damage]

But the motorcycle was drivable after removing all the gear off the back end.  At this point the adrenaline started working its way out my system and the ache in my collarbone began to intensify.  I had a few vials of morphine in my emergency first aid kit which I had gotten from an old military medic friend of mine for just this sort of thing.  I gave myself a very small injection.  It was just enough to allow me to drive without passing out till I got to the nearest hospital which was, according to Chris, in Georgetown.  He offered to slowly follow behind me to ensure that I made it safely.  That was one of the longest drives of my life.  I kept the bike in second gear the whole time as there was no way I could manipulate the clutch with my left hand. The morphine started wearing off around the second hour and I had to stop and vomit several times from a combination of the pain, heat and system shock.  After finally making it to Georgetown and dropping off my bike and things at Chris’s house, he drove me to the hospital but the emergency room doctor was not there so I was told to return in the morning.  An on-call emergency doctor who isn’t there, that’s useful.  The next morning I went straight to an orthopedic surgeon that Chris knew and there the x-rays revealed that two out of three of my left collarbone’s connecting ligaments were most likely torn.  X-rays don’t actually show connective tissue damage but tore ligaments is really the only way that the bone could have been in the position it was and still is.  The only solution is surgery.  Problem is that after surgery I would be immobile for 4-6 weeks, i.e. not able to drive a motorcycle at all, which meant that I would have to leave the motorcycle in Guyana and fly to Buenos Aires in order to make it on time for classes to start to then deal with the motorcycle at another time.  Moreover, Guyana isn’t particularly well known for professional medical care. This was obviously not an attractive option.  Another option was to ship the motorcycle to Buenos Aires ($2000 USD), fly back to the U.S. or London where I could get costless quality medical care.  The last option I contemplated was to finish the drive to Buenos Aires in my current condition assuming the swelling would dissipate enough to allow me to manipulate the clutch if only briefly.  I had a few days to mull my options over while I repaired the damage on the bike. 

I spent the next two days going back and forth to the Guyanese hardware stores looking for temporary repair solutions for the bike. With the help of Chris and one of his employees Rocco, I was able to patch the bike back together in respectable fashion.  For the hardest part, we used ropes and pulleys for the construction of an improvised chassis straightener in order to straighten out the rear end just enough to extract and insert new chassis bolts.  Two days and various makeshift repair materials later, the bike was once again drivable.  A short test drive revealed an unpleasant sound from the engine which I suspected to be a malfunctioning timing chain tensioner, but to repair that would have required more time and tools than I had at my disposal.

[Rocco helping me with repairs]

Over the course of those two days, Chris and his friend Joan revealed to me a brief glimpse into Guyanese life.  Chris, a very loquacious fella, spent many hours describing every problem and nuance associated with gold mining in what many consider to be the lawless Old West of South America.  I learned everything from the main causes of so much murder and violence, the latest creative techniques being employed to smuggle drugs from Colombia through Guyana and then onwards, to who exactly needs to be bribed in order to have any chance of surviving in business dealings. One of the many stories that came out in the process was that Rocco had killed several people in the defense of Chris’s mining territory—which is always under dispute—and Chris spent several years and thousands of dollars in bribe money to get him off the hook.  And apparently a contract is still out on Rocco’s head.  That was reassuring information as I slept in the room next to him.  As a side note, one can have someone killed in Guyana for a mere $250 USD.  If you negotiate properly you might even be able to get a 2 for 1 discount.  

On the other hand, Rocco’s mother Joan was a great storyteller and recounted countless stories from her childhood growing up in the Guyanese jungle.  I have recorded one of these stories and placed it here for your listening enjoyment.  Note that her manner of speaking is very typical of Guyana.  I’m not a sufficiently knowledgeable in linguistics to classify the language as a pigeon or creole form of English, but you will probably note the lack of the use “me” where the pronoun “I” should be used.  And some sentences are structured in subject-object-verb format like in many Germanic languages instead of the English subject-verb-object format, while some words are of Hindi origin—or so I was told.  Note that Joan mentions a “bushmaster” in her story which is a type of poisonous snake found in the region.

[Insert sound file of Joan storytelling]

So at this point during my extended stay in Guyana, the swelling in my shoulder had gone down significantly and I decided that I could and would finish the drive on it. 

[A horse just about to fall into a canal, Guyana]

1 October (Georgetown, Guyana à Paramaribo, Suriname)

[One of the many Chinese restaurants somewhere in Suriname]

After saying farewell to Chris, Joan and Rocco, to whom I am forever indebted to for the kindness and hospitality they showed me those difficult three days, I headed to the river border to cross over to Suriname.  Here I had to make another river crossing but at least this time is was a real ferry instead of a canoe or longboat.  Passing through customs and immigration with the motorcycle was a relatively straightforward process this time, even if it did take the average four hours. 

[Trip planning note. You must purchase vehicular insurance in Georgetown before heading to Suriname because there is no place to purchase it at the border like in most other countries.  Send me a PM and I will send you the details.] 

When I arrived in Suriname the first thing I noticed was that the roads were actually paved—albeit poorly at best, a godsend for my injuries.  The second thing I noticed was that an inordinately high percentage of the populous seemed to be highly intoxicated, and it was still morning that I made this observation.  When I stopped for lunch at the only open establishment, a Chinese restaurant, I was approached by yet another drunk begging for money for more booze.  While I quietly enjoyed my chowmein noodles with roasted goat meat, the drunk must have thought that my motorcycle was an amusement ride and got right on.  I went over and asked him to dismount but he refused.  After I used physical force to remove him, he became rather agitated as I had apparently been the source of a buzz kill.  This all started to attract the attention of a crowd.  Two men standing nearby egged me on to rough the drunk up by telling me that he was crazy and needed a good whipping, but all I wanted to do was finish my meal and get out of there.  The drunk eventually became distracted by his unfinished bottle of run and calmed down at which point the two guys who had attempted to instigate a fight, identified themselves to me as the local police, got into their police pickup truck and drove off.

[Macaw overseeing some construction work in Suriname]

I skipped all the sightseeing I had planned to do here as I was in too much physical discomfort to want to prance around taking pictures.  I spent the night in Paramaribo with plans to head into French Guiana early the next morning.  From what I saw of Paramaribo, it seemed that the only thing to do was gamble at one of the many casinos found in the downtown area and I was in no mood for that.  If your thinking of come here, I’ld think twice.  Service is terrible and everything is unjustifiably overpriced.  I would recommend French Guiana or even Guyana for a more raw and feral experience.

[Sinnamary, French Guiana]

2 October (Paramaribo, Suriname à Cayenne, French Guiana)

[Maroni River, Suriname]

I left Paramaribo in the early morning in order to make it to the only daily ferry crossing into French Guiana.  After another uneventful ferry crossing, I was on French soil.  Here I will happily deviate from my typical negative assessment of the customs/immigration procedure and say that the French here got it right.  It took me an entire five minutes to get the paperwork for my motorcycle process before I was promptly on my way to the capital, Cayenne.  Fuel was expensive ($5/gal) but the roads were immaculate.  When I arrived in Cayenne later that day I had a very difficult time finding a hotel that wasn’t fully booked.  I eventually found the only available room in Cayenne at a small but very charming hotel run by a sweet old lady.

[Hotel owner in Cayenne, French Guiana]

At the reception desk I met a very friendly French girl named Sarah who had recognized me from the many hours I had spent driving around looking for a hotel room.  She explained to me that there was a French movie being filmed near Cayenne, “600 Kilograms of Pure Gold”, and that the film crew had booked most hotel rooms in city.  It turned out that she was also on the special effects team and later introduced me to most of the crew which happened to be celebrating nearby.  After a few of them had heard about my accident they were immediately on the phone calling people in the area.  Within half an hour an orthopedic surgeon and a bike mechanic appeared at the restaurant offering their assistance.  After the surgeon realized that I needed to drive to Buenos Aires, he gave me some more medication for the pain and wished me luck.  The bike enthusiast, Claude, and I spent a while swapping travel advice as he was planning on driving up to Canada later this year.  After a while he offered to help me make some more repairs to bike as some of the temporary fixes I had made were starting for fall apart. 

[Cayenne streets at night]

3 October (Cayenne, French Guiana à St. George, French Guiana)

The next morning I made my way over to Claude’s workshop.  He spent his time professionally repairing my front fender while I fabricated a new windshield from an old piece of plexiglass and fabricated some rubber spacers from a used piece of conveyor belt.  Afterwards Claude popped open a bottle of scotch, invited over some friends, and in typical French Guianese fashion, we spent the rest of the morning relaxing and playing billiards. 

[Sink plumbing in French Guiana]

As much as I wanted to hang out in Cayenne for a while, the clock was ticking and my collarbone wasn’t getting any better so I said my goodbyes to Claude and his friends and made my way to the French Guiana-Brazil border.  

[A typical scene throughout most of Suriname and French Guiana (St. George, French Guiana)]

Unfortunately by the time I arrived, immigration had already closed up shop for the night and wouldn't open till morning so I found myself a hotel room and made myself comfortable in the sleepy town of St. George.  As is typical of most border towns, this one was teeming with French and Brazilians alike.  While having dinner I met a few Brazilian girls who invited me to a party one the other side of the river, so off I went.  

[The other side of the river from French Guiana (Oiapoque, Brazil)]

My previous comment about those very friendly, “passionate” Brazilians in Boa Vista was once again confirmed as the party was teeming with samba, caipiniñas and very little clothing.  It was like Spring Break in the U.S. only I’m guessing that it’s nearly every day in Brazil.  But I had a long drive through the Amazon in the morning so I made my way back rather early to get a good night’s rest.

4-5 October (St. George, French Guiana à Macapu, Brazil)

That morning I got my exit stamp from the police in French Guiana and then asked around and negotiated till I found a long boat to take me across the river for 20 Reales ($10 USD).

[Video clip of the boat crossing from French Guiana to Brazil]

Once on the Brazilian side, I discovered to my dismay that the customs office was closed for the holiday.  I was looking at two option: (1) waste another day waiting for the proper paperwork or (2) once again drive through another country without papers trying to avoid police stops.  Oiapoque seemed like a charming town but I wasn't about to spend another minute there.  And so off I went to Macapu where I would hopefully be able to find a boat that would take me the 500 kilometers along the almighty Amazon River to Belem.  The road to Macapu consisted of 250 km of unpaved road and 250 km of paved road.  It took me the better part of the day to get through the unpaved section as it was rife with potholes and the such.

[On the road to Macapu, Brazil]

Just as I had made it onto pavement and the sun was setting, I noticed a brand new BMW GS1200 motorcycle with all the trimming parked by the side of the road.  I had found another traveling motorcyclist so I turned around to introduce myself.  The rider was named Orlando and he was an older wealthy Brazilian who was headed into French Guiana and Suriname for a short two week ride.  He was accompanied by a young French doctor named Florien whom he had apparently run across earlier that day.  I couldn't figure out how the doctor was accompanying Orlando because there didn’t appear to be any room on the bike for a second rider.  That’s when the back end of this large truck-motor home, which was parked right next to us, opened up to reveal a hydraulic lift and a compartment for two large motorcycles.  It turned out to be Orlando’s support vehicle.  

[Orlando's support vehicle]

And while he loaded his BMW into the truck, his driver/butler/assistant served us all glasses of scotch and a plate of cheese right there by the side of the road.  The whole thing was quite surreal.  Here I was in the midst of the Amazon basis drinking scotch with a Brazilian and a French guy discussing Obama’s current track record.  I couldn’t help but laugh to myself.  This is what the trip was all about.  I decided to spend the night in the town and get to know my two new friends a bit better.  Orlando really enjoyed his scotch as their seemed to be an endless supply of bottles coming out of his truck before and after dinner.  By the end of dinner Orlando had gotten both Florien and I nearly completely drunk.  Orlando then decided it would be a good idea to go in search of whatever nightlife the town had to offer all the while Arthur, the servant, complained that he had to drive in the morning.  A little bit more color on Orlando.  He’s what I like to call a fair-weather quasi-adventure motorcyclist.  He never rides in the rain, never rides at night, and more important, never rides without his fully-stocked-with-every-luxury-possible support truck following close behind.  Whenever he gets mildly tired, he loads the bike in the truck and sleeps while the driver continues on.  Well, back to the story.  It was a small town, so we didn’t have to go far to find the only club.  Once we got there Orlando was like a hormone-driven machine.  He immediately scoped out the oldest, least attractive women in the club and brought them over to us like a lioness bringing home downed prey for her cubs.  He must have told these women that we were desperately seeking company or something because they confidently assumed that we were very interested.  Florien and I spent the next ten minutes or so extricating ourselves from their claws and then found a corner in the club away from Orlando and his group of witches.  Good intentions on Orlando’s part, poor execution. 

5-7 October (Macapu, Brazil à Belem, Brazil)

[Harbor in Santana, Brazil]

[Kids playing near Macapu, Brazil]

I finished the ride to Macapu in four hours and easily found the place Orlando had suggested for finding boats to Belem.  After loading up my bike on the boat and paying 200 Reales ($100 USD), off I was to Belem along the Amazon.

[Scene along the Amazon River]

The two-day ride along the Amazon was not only a well needed rest but also a highlight of the trip for me.  Apart from being the only foreigner on a barge with about 50 other Brazilians, I also seemed to be the main attraction for all the kids and even some of the adults.  One in particular (pictured below) was so curious of everything that I did that he did not leave my side the entire two days.  He even had his mother move his hammock next to mine.  Throughout the length of the journey along the Amazon, the boat would stop at all the waterside villages to drop off and pick up passengers.  The boat I was on was also carrying foodstuffs like watermelon, casaba and palm oil which would be traded to these waterside villagers by having them come alongside in their small canoes while we were still moving at a decent clip and then conduct the trade.  It all reminded me of my navy days and the underway replenishments alongside aircraft carriers and large cargo vessels although clearly on a different scale.


[More scenes along the Amazon]

[Trip planning note.  Many people will tell you that you can find a boat to Belem in Macapu but in actuality boats to Belem only leave from a nearby town called Puerto Santana.  Moreover, most of these operate on a two-part basis.  Meaning that on some small island you will have to transfer to another boat which will take you the rest of the way.  Many boat owners will try to cheat you out of more money by saying that the fare had gone up while the boat was in transit.  I was able to avoid paying any more money by publicly insulting the would-be swindling boat captain in several languages until he desisted. Try it, it might work for you.]

7-9 October (Belem, Brazil à Brasilia, Brazil)

[Riding near the Amazon river delta, Brazil]

On the morning of the third day, I was safely in Belem and making my way to Brasilia.  Two days and a few thousand kilometers later, I was just three hours from Brasilia when the engine noise that had appeared after the accident in Guyana, culminated in engine failure.  After hitching a ride back to the previous town I had just passed, I was able to find a local whose cousin was the area’s tow truck driver.  Knowing that the only solution to my predicament lie at the BMW dealership in Brasilia, I reluctantly dished out $500 USD for the three-hour tow.  As luck would have it, I arrived at an ill-timed hour.  It was Friday afternoon and Monday was a holiday.  The dealership’s manager however was incredibly helpful and promised to have a diagnosis complete before his guys went home for the weekend.  It turned out that the problem required a part be flown in from Sao Paulo but the good news was that my bike would definitely be ready by Tuesday. 

9-13 October (Brasilia, Brazil)

Four days in Brasilia.  That’s about three days too many for this colorless capital.  I’ve spent my days catching up on films at the local cinema and improving my Portuguese with the locals.  That's it for now.  My next post will be from Buenos Aires.

20 September 2009

Tegucigalpa, Honduras to San Antonio del Tachira, Venezuela


[Villagers washing laundry by a riverside in Honduras]

3 September (Tegucigalpa, Honduras → Colon, Nicaragua)

It was another early morning departure in anticipation for what turned out to be yet another painful border crossing—sans wasp sting.  This time around I actually needed to purchase insurance to enter the country.  Something tells me however that it isn't worth the paper it's printed on.  After crossing into Nicaragua it was clearly obvious from my surroundings that this was the poorest country up to date in the trip.  Not that the bar of living standards was very high in Guatemala and Honduras, but unfortunately for the Nicaraguan people, the country seems to be harshly suffering from the pains of a weak infrastructure, economic base and corrupt government more than its surrounding neighbors.  


[Just one of the many immigration offices throughout Latin
America with which I have become intimately familiar]


[Somewhere in the middle of Nicaragua]


4 September (Colon, Nicaragua → Granada, Nicaragua)

With a mere 200km ride from Colon to the old historic capital of Granada, I spent the day exploring the city with some newfound friends in Granada.  In fact, I ran into a Brazilian fella named Alex who is doing a long motorcycle trip as well, only in the opposite direction: Brazil up to Canada.  We spent the evening recounting road tales and route suggestions around an envious audience and exchanging tips on what each one of us was about to encounter.


[One has to be quick to catch a bus here, bus drivers don't like to actually stop]



[Kids playing baseball just before the quotidian afternoon rain shower]

5 September (Granada, Nicaragua → San Jose, Costa Rica)

The ride from Granada to San Jose should have only taken me circa four hours but instead, due to some encounters with with local law enforcement, torrential rains, endless paperwork at the border, and finally, a head on collision with swarm of insects of unknown origin (elaboration to follow), what should have been a short leg ended up taking me over eight hours.  

The first delay: Nicaraguan police.  I had just left Granada and was approaching the next small village as I got stuck behind a convoy of trucks that looked something like what I imagine Noah's Ark might have looked like with all the different types of farm animals they were carrying.  I saw cattle heads, pig feet, and a horses' asses sticking out of every opening on those trailers.  All the while chickens were flying about trying to avoid being crushed by the masses of flesh and bone chaotically moving about.  At this point you should probably know that Central American truck drivers are a bit more aggressive than the standard European or North American truck driver.  I think they all grew up watching Formula 1 in the hopes that someday they too would be able to cross the checkered flag at Laguna Seca.  After eventually finding themselves behind the wheel of an eighteen wheeler instead of a ferrari, they undoubtedly never let the dream die and have instead opted to live theirs out by racing fellow truckers to the next village market or speed bump—whichever comes first.  With the animals as unwilling participants in the truck drivers' quest for glory, one can only imagine the types—and quality—of odors that emanate from those trucks full of animals after having the crap scared out of them, no pun intended.  Now imagine yourself behind it all, breathing in that not-so-fresh air with nothing more than a thin piece of plexiglass separating you and the foul animal stench.  Well, I had no intention of staying behind those trucks any longer than was absolutely necessary so I ignored the solid yellow line indicating a no-pass zone and quickly pulled ahead of the trucks just in time for me to run straight into a police traffic stop.  After pulling over, the police explained to me that I had committed a traffic infraction to which I promptly displayed the requisite countenance of utter shock and dismay.  After much discussion, the fine was apparently going to cost me a Thomas Jefferson and needed to be paid in person to one of the officer's fellow corrupt officials at a bank in the village somewhere.  And they were holding my driver's license as ransom.  It was Saturday and the banks didn't open back up until Monday.  I was in quite a little quandary.  There was no way I was going to stay in that town till Monday.  I had two options:  continue on without a driver's license or bribe the cop.  Considering how many more countries I still had to get through, I decided against letting yet another driver's license fall prey a traffic enforcement official and opted for the latter.  After a surreptitious exchange of money, the cop, who was afraid his boss, el Capitan, would see him, became incredibly friendly and put away his ticket book.  A few minutes later I was back on the road with all my documents and twenty dollars less in my wallet.  Lesson learned: never hand over the real version of anything to the police down here.  Give them a photocopy and tell them that the real version was stolen this morning.  I won't be making that same mistake twice.  

Second delay: torrential rains.  After spending an hour or so donning and doffing my rain gear for what turned out to be a quick thirty minute tropical downpour, I finally arrived at the Nicaraguan-Costa Rican border looking like I just got done mud wrestling wild boars.

Third delay:  government bureaucracy.  While still at the Nicaraguan border, I had to run off a group of young kids who were unsuccessful in trying to steal one of the bags that was chained on to my bike—all while a cop looked on pretending notice anything was out of the ordinary—and I guess the situation wasn't anything unusual from his perspective.  

Fourth delay:  bugs.  After finishing up at the border and knocking a few kilos of dried mud off my clothes and bike, I was finally in Costa Rica and headed towards San Jose.  It was just around sunset and I was happily taking in a landscape replete with volcano peaks disappearing into the clouds when out of nowhere I drove straight through a syrupy thick swarm of bugs at 100+ kph.  Up to now countless thousands of insects have sacrificed their lives in the name of "Argentina or Bust", but none have left behind much more than their grotesquely contorted little exoskeletons plastered on my face shield.  These Costa Rican bugs however were made mostly of some unusually sticky yellow substance which left me covered head to toe in this yellow liquid with the consistency of hollandaise sauce.  I'll never be able to look at eggs benedict quite the same way again. After another hour of cleansing myself and the motorbike, I was once again making headway toward San Jose.


[Work: untitled, artist: unknown.  One of the many exquisitely preserved specimens of the automobile art genre quickly emerging across Latin America.  This artist's style displays influences from pornographism and the television show "pimp my ride"]

I arrived around midnight in San Jose and ended up staying at the first hostel I came across.  The next morning during breakfast--or at least what they call breakfast--I sat down next to a fella whom, as it turned out, I had wrestled against in high school nearly 18 years prior.  The guy's name was John and he had decided against returning home to the U.S. after a certain encounter with a member of the opposite sex during a vacation in Costa Rica over ten years ago.  John was a nice guy who really like to talk a lot.  The kind of person you really hope to avoid sitting next to on a transoceanic flight.  So I quickly curtailed the conversation with the invention of some urgent matter I needed to attend to and quickly made my way out the door with the mind of getting into Panama City before nightfall.

6 September (San Jose, Costa Rica → somewhere near Portobelo, Panama)

On my way out of San Jose, I stopped at a gasolinera to fill up my tank.  While there I asked one of the Panamanians for the best way to take out of the city toward Panama.  I just so happened to ask an older gentleman in his 80s who was headed the same direction and I told me I could just follow him.  I quickly got the impression that either this guy was trying to lose me or he just enjoyed breaking every traffic law available—Costa Ricans generally seem to follow traffic laws in their country.  The older gentleman was driving through red traffic lights and weaving in and out of traffic like a madman—and all of this in a 70s Nissan pickup truck.  I thought for sure he or I were bound to be pulled over but the last thing I wanted was to spend god knows how much time trying to get out of that city.  When we finally got to the highway I waved thanks to the octogenarian lunatic and slowly pull ahead of him.  This gesture must have really aggravated him as he seemed to have gotten the impression that I wanted to race him.  I comically spent the next few hours to border watching, from a safe distance, as he constantly tried to overtake me by such wild maneuvers as passing trucks on a blind uphill curve.  I guess his thought process was that at his age he didn't really have much to lose.


[Sunset off the northern coast of Panama near Portobelo]


[Sunset drive along the northern coast of Panama]

I spent the night comfortably in my hammock in the jungle somewhere far from civilization and woke up the next morning to complete the remaining 300km to a sparsely inhabited village on the northern Panamanian coast near Colon where I was told I would be able to find sailboats headed to Colombia.  On the way I stopped in Panama City for some lunch.  The city reminded me very much of Miami without South Beach, but instead with the addition of the old historical district on the waterfront called Casco Viejo somewhat representative of Old Havana.  The city didn't compel to extend my visit so I continued onwards and finally arrived to my desolate destination in the early afternoon.  Along the way I had stopped to verify my directions with a heavily armed soldier standing around watching the grass grow.  When he saw the towns I was passing through his eyes lit up and he told me not to stop for anyone or anything I might encounter there—including stop signs.  He went on to say that dropping below 30kph would not be good idea and might incur an additional security risk.  And he was right, driving though those towns with over 80% unemployment rate gave one the sense that thousands of eyes were watching one's every movement.  Unfortunately the next several days would require I transit through that area many times, but all fortunately without incident.


[A cargo ship transiting the Panama Canal at the Gatun Locks section]

I immediately went to work trying to find a sailboat and skipper willing to take me and my motorbike across.  The place I was staying at had arrangements with around a dozen boats but the next one which had the necessary space required to take on a motorbike wasn't going to be leaving for another 7 days.  Considering the additional 5 day transit at sea, that sort of delay was unacceptable given my time constraints.  So I went about looking for boat and skippers of boats where I assumed they would congregate: bars, internet cafes, brothels, etc..  I avoided the brothels as far as I could tell and by happenstance found a skipper with a boat while I was on my phone at the local bar trying to get more information out of Panama City.  He agreed to take me and the price was settled at $875 USD for both my bike and me.  I knew I was overpaying but he was very unwilling to take the bike on board until I sweetened the deal a bit.  So everything was set for a departure the next day when all of sudden I got a call from the skipper telling me that the boat owner would not allow the motorcycle on board.  There wasn't much I could do .  I even went so far as to swim the bay for half a day going from boat to boat asking if anyone would take me and the bike to Colombia for $1000 USD.  Two other boats fell through in a similar fashion and I was beginning to get anxious.  Panama is a beautiful place, but if I was going to be forced to get stuck anywhere, I was hoping it would be in Colombia and not Panama.


[A welding repair on my motorbike being performed by the hotel owner in Puerto Lindo, Panama]

9 September (Panama City, Panama→ Bogota, Colombia)


[Here I am on the flight from Panama City to Bogota hoping my motorcycle will be waiting for me when I arrive]

After much running around in circles trying to secure a sailboat which would take me across to Colombia, I threw my hands up and decided my time would be better spent if I just air freighted the bike across the infamously impassable Darian Gap.  $900 USD later my motorbike was on a cargo plane to Bogota and I was at the airport trying to catch the next flight out.  After arriving in Bogota I made my way to the district called La Candelaria and got a peek into Bogota's film culture with an advanced live screening of one of Colombia's leading film directors followed by a very heated discussion involving several members of the audience.  For a moment I felt like I was watching a live re-enactment of a Jerry Springer show with chairs flying through the air and the whole bit.  This all seemed like an excellent prognostication of exciting times to follow in one of my favorite cities in the world.  These thoughts were flying through my head just in time to bump into Manu Chao as I was going into a bar to get a drink with some people from my hostel.  And although the extent of my interaction with the famous gypsy singer consisted of my saying, “sorry about that bro”, I was nevertheless reminded of that particularly special vibe that Bogota has always radiated.  I was later told by a local Bogotana that La Candelaria—a famous neighborhood in Bogota—is one of Manu Chao's favorite areas to hangout--just in case you wish to try your luck.


[La Candelaria at night (Bogota)]

I spent a good part of the next day at the airport extracting my motorcycle from the red-tape lined claws that is the Colombian Customs Office.  I am not exaggerating for a heightened dramatic effect when I say that on my drive back to the hostel I was stopped by the national police nearly a dozen times for not wearing a reflective vest.  Fortunately my paperwork and foreign tags got me out of paying a fine every time.  However, each time I was stopped meant a 20-minute delay involving a full security pat down and then a thorough explanation of my particular situation.  So even though I'm not required by law to wear one of these ridiculous looking reflective vests, the first thing I'm doing tomorrow is to go out and buy one just to avoid the incredulous amount of time I've already wasted talking to the police.  


[Trying some pizza at LBS's very own Juan Camillo Saldarriaga's Red Box Pizza in Bogota with his sister Fernanda as a very gracious host throughout my visit in Bogota]

My next few days in Bogota where spent reacquainting myself with a city and country I fell in love with many years ago during my first stay many years ago.  For those who have been here, you know what I'm referring to, and for those who haven't, you need to come and experience this place for yourselves.  Colombia and its people have a sense of genuine warmth and openness that I have yet to find in any other country.  To the average foreigner, Colombia generally invokes images of cartels, kidnapping, and drugs.  And although these things have all played a part in Colombia's recent history, things have changed dramatically over the last ten years.  President Uribe has really turned things around, and now there is a definite improved sense of security felt by the average person on the street even if the security measures haven't yet fully disappeared—especially in the more affluent neighborhoods.  I'm of the opinion that Colombia now has all the ingredients necessary to transform itself into a tourism mecca.  Foreign money is pouring into infrastructure projects of all sorts, political stability seems to be strengthening trend, FARC eradication seems all but complete and the government is offering impressive incentives for promotion of growth in multiple sectors. It seems that all that needs to be done now is wait for the general global perception of Colombia to shift to more positive descriptors such as paradise, rum, and rumba.

13 - 18 September (Bogota → Medellin → Cartagena → Medellin → Bogota, Colombia)


[The dramatic confluence of two rivers with differing sediment content]

For brevity sake as well as salvaging any chance I have of getting to sleep at a decent hour, I will summarize a week's worth of travel throughout Colombia in a few short paragraphs even though I could most certainly write an entire book on just this part of the trip.  From Bogota it was my intent to travel to Cartagena and then follow the Caribbean coast northward to Santa Marta and then into Venezuela from there.  Unfortunately an ungodly 7-day processing time for a Brazilian visa at the consulate in Bogota required that I alter my plans to include a return to Bogota in order to pick up my passport.



I left Bogota for Cartagena thinking it would be a twelve hour drive but suspecting otherwise based on my previous experiences during this trip.  The windy mountain roads cutting through the Andes took me eight hours just to navigate to Medellin which was only a third of the way to Cartagena, so I decided to make an unplanned stop there for the night.  And quite a fortuitous stop it was.  I will spare you all the details, but suffice it to say that Medellin is an incredibly fun city with fabulous people with an amazing zest for life.  As you may remember, Medellin is most commonly associated with Pablo Escobar, who ran the strongest drug cartel out of Medellin for many years until hunted down by Colombian and U.S. agents.  It has over the past years however returned to normalcy and is once again becoming a travel destination.  I didn't know anyone there but quickly made friends with some locals who pulled back a part of the social curtain just enough for me to steal a small glance into their world.  For the blog's audience, I will leave it at that.  For those of my close friends following at London Business School, I'll share the details with you all in January upon my return.  It was very hard to leave such a place and I briefly considered canceling the rest of my trip, shipping my bike to Buenos Aires and staying in Medellin till end of October.  Reality quickly set back in, and the next day I was back on the road to Cartagena.  I arrived late in the evening after a beautiful and exhausting ride through the tortuous Colombian jungle roads.  The next few days I spent researching a business interest I have in Cartagena and getting plugged into the professional network of investors and business owners there.  I befriended a 45-year old semi-retired swiss national named Bill (name has been changed to protect his identity as he is probably reading this blog now) who had settled in Cartagena about four years ago.  Bill is going through an unadmitted midlife crisis, had recently divorced his wife and was currently dating a twenty some year old bronze skinned beauty who could have been a model in the next Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.  He must have felt it was his duty to entertain lavishly so he had his girlfriend call all her girlfriends who then called all their girlfriends who then all joined us for drinks and dancing, and before I knew it felt like I was a judge at a beauty pageant without an audience.  Cartagena is a popular destination for beautiful single Colombian women to go and find a wealthy foreigner to marry.  I clearly was aware of ultimate purpose of the show unfolding before my eyes and figured it could hurt to play along.  I found it all very comical and vastly entertaining to say the least, that is, until the bill came and I realized that I was splitting the bill with Bill for several rounds of top shelf cocktails for about fifteen girls.  Luckily I was in Colombia and not London which equated to about three pints of beer in British sterling terms.  That was of course just the beginning of the night, and before it was over I had run into another MBA student from UCLA who was on his way to Rio de Janeiro for a semester exchange.  I will end the story there as I do not wish neither to incriminate myself nor others involved.



[Cartagena at night, it's still early]


A few days later I begrudgingly left Cartagena nursing a lingering hangover and made my way back to Medellin.  After a Thursday night of bacchanalian festivities in Medellin with the same previous paisas—what the locals are called—I drove the remaining eight hours back down to Bogota and arrived just in time—with literally 15 minutes to spare—to pick up my passport from the Brazilian consulate before they closed for the weekend.


[Medellin's barrios disappearing into the clouds]

19 September (Bogota, Colombia → Malaga, Colombia)

After saying my goodbyes to the incredibly kind and generous parents of Juan Camillo Saldarriaga, a good friend and classmate of mine at London Business School, who hosted both my stays in Bogota, my next destination was meant to be Venezuela.  As usual I opted for the road less traveled, allowing me to pass through the small villages and landscape which truly embody the soul and character of a nation—things that cannot be enjoyed from the blindfolded confines of high-speed highways.  For me one the most exciting thing is to get onto one of these small dirt roads which you hope will take you to your destination eventually, and to have no idea what you're going to come across, you only know that you have never experienced it before and will probably never experience it again.  



My most insightful conversations and experiences during this adventure have come from my interactions with the working class people.  Trying to reach a semblance of understanding of how the world is viewed from their perspective, what concerns and dreams they have and those of their children gives one an important indication how others parts of the country is functioning. And to avoid sounding too much like a Karl Marx manifesto with a proletariat slant, I don't deny the importance of observation of the other classes in society.  In Bogota, Medellin and Cartagena I was able to see life from the eyes of very privileged people, and as comfortable and exciting a perspective as that may be, my own relatively privileged past decade means for me that there is little learning to be done from observing that side.  Although I'll admit that the more subtle idiosyncrasies of a geographically specific class of people always has some learning points to offer, I have always found the working class to offer something a bit more rich in flavor.


[One of the many curious stares on the side of the road]

But I digress, so let's return to the story at hand.  Even though the road less traveled lacks tolls booths and the like, it extracts its own fee on its travelers in the form of unpredictable terrain and random life-threatening obstacles.  The road I was traveling along was pure rock and dirt.  Cars were averaging 20 kph while I was able to squeeze out 40 kph without vibrating myself into a thousand pieces.  A few kilometers into the ride, I came a large flight of vultures which were feasting on a carcass.  These were apparently not used to having to evade a motorcycle traveling faster than the usual dump truck or horse and carriage.  The result was that one of the vulture hit me square in the chest and knocked the wind out of me.  I was luckily uninjured, not sure about the vulture, and it sort of bounced off and fell to the ground.  The next mentionable event occurred when I came around a corner to find that there was no road in my lane and a tow truck and numerous police officers occupying the other lane.  I hit the brakes and skid to a stop just in time to avoid sliding down a 400 meter plus cliff.  Apparently the road collapse had just occurred and my near fall to my death finally prompted the police to place warning markers where I had just come from.  I got off the bike to see what the tow truck was pulling out of the gorge when I realized that it was something that resembled a large vehicle.  Unlikely there had been any survivors.  The police saw the video camera on my helmet, thought I was filming the event, quickly became very animated and asked me to move on immediately.


[Approaching Malaga, Colombia on a very desolate road]

I had the ambitious goal of making it into Hugo Chavez territory by the end of the day, but alas I only made it as far as Malaga, a small town with a population of circa 20,000 (just a pure guess) a few hours away from the Colombian-Venezuelan border.  When I stopped at the town square to ask for advice on where I could find a decent hotel, I was once again immediately surrounded by curious townsfolk who had probably never seen a motorcycle loaded down such as mine.  During dinner at the hotel I struck up conversation with a couple of young guys in their early twenties, Jesus and Juan Pablo, who had never met a gringo and they decided to show me a good time in their humble little village.


[It was really hard to carry on a conversation because of all the people in the club as you can see from the picture, but the night proved to still be young]

It was Saturday night and I was curious to see what their concept of "going out and having a good time" meant to them.  The two kept on raving about a place with lots of girls and good music.  I didn't really care where we went as I was tagging along more for the ride.  I should have asked more details about the establishment they were taking me to because as soon as I walked in I realized that I was not in any club or bar, it was a seedy brothel.  I was at least pleased that my young companions hadn't lied to me: there were lots of women and music.  However, neither of which was even remotely appealing.  I'll spare you all the details of the ladies of the night and the establishment but suffice it to say that I was very glad that it was so poorly lit as I did not wish to observe anything that was going on.  Just as I was telling Jesus that we should move on to a more comfortable establishment, a fully armed squad of Colombian military walked in shouting orders for everyone to get up against the wall.  At this moment I nearly started laughing out loud and thought to myself,"I cannot wait to explain this one to my friends just as soon as I get out of here."  I glanced over at Jesus and Juan Pablo and noticed that they were perfectly calm.  Jesus was standing up against the wall still half dancing to the cumbia that was still playing on the jukebox while the soldiers patted down all the men for weapons.  Here is when I realized that this was merely a routine security check that occurs in such places of ill repute.  After few minutes later the sergeant thanked us for our cooperation and filed the troops out the door.  A few minutes later we were on our way to the next place which I was promised was a discoteca.  It was in fact "the" discoteca as Malaga has but one club.  And here we innocently finished out the rest of the evening dancing salsa and cumbia--mainly with the staff.


20 September (Malaga, Colombia → San Antonio del Tachira, Venezuela)


[A heart-racing, hard-pounding ride to leaving Colombia]

I'm an illegal in Venezuela! After a breathtaking drive to the Venezuelan border, I arrived at Colombian immigration and went through the procedure of canceling my vehicle importation document and getting my passport stamped as having left the country.  At this point I drove over the bridge into San Antonio, Venezuela and tried to get the paperwork process started when I was told that the customs office, those responsible for giving me the transit papers for my motorbike, were closed until the next day.  It was only 2pm and I was hoping to make it halfway to Caracas but now I was going to have to spend the night in Colombia until morning.  I tried persuasive methods on the immigration officials involving surreptitious financial remuneration for a set of papers with no luck.  I drove back across the bridge into Colombia and went back to the same immigration officer who had stamped me out a few minutes earlier.  I explained my situation to her and asked for a stamp back into the country until the following morning.  She told me it would only be possible with a stamp from Venezuelan immigration showing that I had left Venezuela.  The resultant absurd conversation that took place lasted another several minutes ending in my having to go back across the bridge a third time to get an Venezuelan exit stamp. Of course the Venezuelan official refused to give me a stamp without the motorcycle paperwork.  To make a long story short, I could neither get back into Colombia nor could I enter Venezuela. I felt like Tom Hanks in the movie Terminal.  Having given up talking any sense into either Venezuelan or Colombian officials, it suddenly dawned on me that I was famished and needed some time to think about how I was going to get out of my current predicament.  I found a food cart which happened to be positioned at the foot of the Colombian-side of the bridge.  There was a group of Venezuelan men having lunch and I eventually struck up conversation during the course of which, I comically explained to them my unusual siltation.  I bought their beers with the remaining Colombian pesos in my pocket and at that point one of them told me he would be able to help me get into the nearby Venezuelan town if I wanted.  To make another long story short, I suspect these gents where transporting not-so-legal goods from Colombia into Venezuela because the next thing I know I was following their pickup truck down a rocky trail which they said would take me across the river into Venezuela.  They said they did it nearly everyday and had never had a problem--they had clearly paid off the right people.  I was of course weary of any ulterior motives these guys might have for taking me across but decided I would give it a go.  I followed them from a safe enough distance so that I could easily turn my bike around in case anything seemed wrong, but fortunately everything went just as they had said and the next thing I knew I was safely in Venezuela looking for a hotel for the night. The rest of the story has already occurred but I'll leave it for the next post.  Until then...